Friday, January 23, 2009

Why are we making politics about race?

I’m stunned that we’ve made politics a racial issue. No one could be happier than me that that equal opportunities are being given to all Americans—regardless of their color. No one could be more disgusted than me that race was ever a reason to boycott someone or hinder them from entering into the same opportunities as their peers. Racism is despicable. Thus, in that respect, I can understand that many would celebrate the inauguration of a black president (although, in reality, he’s as much white as black; he’s multi racial).

But to celebrate primarily because of the president’s color—and to ignore his political stand—is like being an ostrich suffering of HITSS: Head In The Sand Syndrome. It’s insane.

I’m not a politician—although I have several personal friends who are—but I do know that politics should be revolve around policies and our concern should be whether they align themselves with our belief system. Policies are the issue. Not race.

The question we need to ask ourselves is: Are the new policies being brought in by the new president compatible with our belief system? You have to define what you believe. Do you believe in absolutes? In the Bible? Is it OK to take our hard earned tax money and spend it on abortions (which, in my book, amounts to killing babies not unlike the practices of cult worshipers in the Old Testament)? You decide. (I already have.)

The problem, though, is that too many have been mesmerized by media mania and Hollywoodish euphoria. Consequently, too many don’t even know what the new policies are; they don’t grasp the implications of what the new regime is propagating. Well, since I’m not a politician, I’m not going to try to enlighten you. But there’s someone I greatly admire who could tell you clearly what is going on, and that’s Ann Coulter.

Ann Coulter was interviewed on the Dr.Phil show this week together with some other key thinkers. Her take on the new B. Husein Obama is enlighteningly brilliant. Check it out.

I highly recommend reading Ann Coulter’s blog. She’s feisty, funny, free thinking and doesn’t mince her words -- a voice in the wilderness, a genius with a biblical world view. Check out for yourself.

Praying for the president – and for America.

Janey L. DeMeo M.A.
Copyright © January 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Wild Things -- that's what boys are

As a mom with both a daughter and a son, I can tell you first-hand boys can be reeeeaaaally wild. Add to that my work with fatherless & abused children (as founder of Orphans First --, and I can tell you doubly that boys have very special needs. I'm happy to say that Wild Things by Stephen James and David Thomas provides answers to many of our questions about those "wild things" we call boys.

Looking for answers on how to raise boys?
Ever wonder…
• Why can’t he sit still?
• Is he hearing a word I say?
• Why is he angry all the time?
Boys are born to be wild. Their strong spirit, endless imagination, and hunger for adventure are only matched by their deep desire to be affirmed, esteemed, and loved. In their new book Wild Things, therapists Stephen James and David Thomas help parents and educators understand what exactly makes boys tick.

Read questions (Q) to the authors and their enlightening answers (A) below:

Q. You address five key stages that a boy goes through on his journey to becoming a man. What stage is the most difficult for most boys to navigate?

A. Each of the stages holds unique challenges. We worked hard to break down each stage in a way that is easy to digest. We think that that parents and educators will walk away with a clearer understanding of a boy’s unique design in each stage and some practical ideas in how to care for him within that stage of his development.

In many ways Wild Things is the kind of thing that you don’t just read once. It is more like an entertaining reference guide that parents and teachers can go back to time and time again for encouragement, insight, and direction.

But if we had to identify one stage as the most challenging, though, we’d have to say the Wanderer stage (13-17). This window of a young man’s development is plagued by physical and emotional change. A colleague of mine, who is pediatrician, said boys in this stage are 98% hormone, which translates to their being so emotional. A part of their developmental agenda is moving toward independence and pulling away. He’s often times the most distant and hard to read in this stage, which greatly complicates the process of letting him go and trusting him with more independence. And it is during this stage that is has the ability to make decisions that will effect the rest of his life. The risks are real and boys in this stage lack the ability to choose wisely with their future in sight.

Q. Both of you are fathers of girls and boys. How is parenting a boy different from parenting a girl?

A. Parenting boys in the first three stages is just so physical. Parenting boys in these years requires a great deal of physical energy—and a good back. Whereas parenting our daughters is so much more relational and emotional. Both are exhilarating and exhausting, but in different ways.

When I (David) engage my daughter, it’s in sitting in a neighborhood coffee shop talking about her day at school. My boys can sit at the coffee shop long enough to finish a chocolate chip cookie, spill their milk and then we’re kicking a soccer ball across the street at the park.

We talk a lot in the book about boys in motion and how to engage these active, physical beings. Girls need that too, no doubt, but not in the same way boys need it.

We had our families together the other day over at my (Stephen’s) house. At one point all the kids went out in the front yard to play: five boys and two girls in all. There were a number of balls lying around the yard. The boys started playing soccer with one ball and the girls started playing soccer with another. After a few minutes the boys were trying to kick the ball at each other and the girls were off to the side talking to each other. To me that is a great picture of the differences.

Q. What mistakes have parents and educators made in their approach to rearing and training boys?

A. For me (Stephen) the consistent mistake my wife and I make is that we over explain and over verbalize with our sons. This is a problem that is very common. In parenting boys, adults tend to talk to them and at them a great deal. We talk and talk and talk and end up sounding a lot like Charlie Brown’s teacher. “Whah, whah, whah.” In Wild Things we offer a number of different strategies for engaging and educating boys that better match their unique design. Boys learn through experience and physical repetition. They need consistent firm boundaries and loads of encouragement.

As far as school goes we speak a lot in the book that the compulsory model we use for schooling in the United States is generally well-suited to a girl’s learning style. It’s heavy on verbal and written expression, two particular areas of strength for most girls. It involves a good deal of sitting still for extended periods of time with mostly auditory instruction. These methods don’t match a boy’s way of learning or draw on his learning strengths.

Q. How did you come to the conclusions you discuss in Wild Things?

A. The book is a combination of science and research, clinical experience (our own as therapists and that of others), and our own journey of parenting five boys between the two of us.

As therapists, we have sat with thousands of men and boys over the years. Our hope was to bring their voices into the content of Wild Things. We have learned so much from the males we’ve had the great honor of working with and hoped to bring their stories into this text. In addition to those, we are still learning so much from living with five of our wild things.

Q. At what age should parents discuss sex, homosexuality, and pornography with their boys?

A. You may be surprised to hear this answer, but we’d recommend beginning a dialogue around sexuality at the age of two. We aren’t recommending education around homosexuality and pornography at two. That begins typically around age 8-10, possibly earlier or later depending on the boy. But we are strong advocates of a healthy ongoing dialogue with every boy around the design of his body, sexuality, and boundaries in relationships in stage one. We lay out a good portion of this in the book to take some of the guess work out of it for parents, and we recommend some useful resources in further guiding you through this life long discussion. As boys grow older the conversation becomes more specific and more technical. Think of it like painting: it starts with broad brush strokes and then moves to finer detail. But as a rule, it starts way before most parents think it does.

Q. What are the three most important factors in keeping a boy from experimenting with drugs?

A. We continue to see three common factors among young men that we’ve worked with who either abstain from using substances or experiment and then make a decision not to continue. The first would be a strong faith and core values. The second would be a strong family open to dialogue. The third would be strong relationships.

More on this blog soon.
Janey L. DeMeo M.A.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Article on Mexico Mission article & Orphans First

. . . to continue on with Thursday's post, click here to read my now-published article on our recent trip to Mexico and Orphans First work (4 pics included in this one).

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Sweet Mexico -- where hope is fast waning.

“Oh, oh, Mexico, Sounds so simple, I just wanna go . . . “

Much as I love James Taylor, he really got it wrong with these lyrics—at least at this time. Nowadays, life in Mexico is far from simple . . .

If we in America think we’ve got it hard nowadays with the economic crisis, then how d’you think Mexico’s poor are faring? Not good. I was there again on Monday and the streets were bare.

(I’m busy writing an article about it -- & will drop a link here on this blog in the future once it’s published.)

My husband, son and I went to give gifts out to the poor in the streets again. Although we had a wonderful time – and truly sensed God with us – it was hard to see faces that are usually jovial now drooping with despair. Of course, a huge part of this is due to the endless gruesome murders taking place in TJ (over 5, 600 last year).

These ladies nattered together anxiously -- no doubt worrying about how to feed their children that night. I felt their burden. The little we were able to give them won't last them long. Let's pray the more lasting gift of Jesus was fully received, and let's pray God takes care of their many needs.

Mexico needs our prayers. Oh, and so does America btw. (I do fear that the land of dreams is in for a rude awakening as dreams crumble under the growing socio-economic shock-wave.)

Let’s pray for Mexico, America—and the whole world. Why not? We just do it one by one, each one doing what they can.

JaneyDeMeo © Copyright January 2009

Monday, January 05, 2009

Fisher Price's worst toy -- doll spouts shocking Islamic propaganda.

Well, you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to discern the times. Just know the Bible and don’t play ostrich.

But no matter how much I think I’m sensing how late the hour is, there’s always something to surprise me. Even shock me. Here’s one of those “things.” A talking doll made by Fisher Price doll, which speaks the words "Islam is the light." Don't believe me? Hear it for yourself.

Now you can make up your own mind.

Janey DeMeo
Copyright © January 2009